You think it's fun now...wait 'til you find out what it's really for!

Russell commented to me the other day how all our things seem to end up in Dorian's toy pile. Once he found this baby-sized plastic guitar, he started carrying it everywhere with him. He loves to push the buttons and strum the...strummer button thingy. It doesn't even do anything except make a kind of clicking sound. But I guess it makes him feel like a rock star.

Thanksgiving Point

We went to the Children's Discovery Garden at Thanksgiving Point for $2 Tuesday, which was super crowded, but tons of fun. We thought we might also go to Farm Country or the dinosaur museum, but we were pooped out after just the gardens. Dorian's favorite part, of course, was the Noah's Ark fountain. The water was freezing cold, but I couldn't get him out of it. I snapped a picture of his wet footprints because I thought they were so darn cute. He also liked exploring the rest of the gardens, and especially wanted to climb on anything he could. And when it was time to go home, he wanted to drive.

Baby Dreams

Today Russell asked his little brother, who has been married for 7 weeks, if he is married in his dreams yet. It made me think about how dreams evolve to include new people in your life, and how this has especially affected my dreams as a new mother.

The dreams I am talking about are different than regular REM dreams...they are more like hallucinations. Like, my sister Carol often has spider hallucinations in the night. She opens her eyes and sees spiders coming down at her from the ceiling, or across the pillow, or some other terrifying scenario. She has to get up and turn on the light before she can convince herself they aren't real. I have experienced this with spiders as well, although I am usually tired enough that I can turn over and sleep with the spiders in peace.

But now that I am a mom, I have baby hallucinations in the night. In the early weeks of Dorian's life, I occasionally resorted to bringing him into my bed in my sleep deprived state. This is not meant to be a discussion on co-sleeping, because I know it works great for some people, but it is not for me. Because for months after I did this a few times, I woke up EVERY NIGHT with the absolute knowledge that the baby was in bed with me. I would shove Russell away because he was on top of the baby, or I would claw through the bedclothes, trying to find the baby before he suffocated. Often I could even feel him breathing under the covers, but then he wasn't there. After a few minutes of looking, I would remember that I had put the baby in his crib after the last time he ate, and then I could go back to sleep.

The hallucinations were like that for several months. But after Dorian started crawling, they eventually evolved. Rather than being under the covers or under Russell, the baby was falling off the edge of the bed, and I had to catch him. Later, as he became more independent, I would wake up because he was in the room, playing in the garbage can, or about to pull the iron down on top of himself. Once, after he started pulling himself up to a standing position in his crib, I woke up to hear him falling down the stairs. Russell and Dorian woke up that time too; I think there must have been a loud noise outside. The next day, Russell lowered the crib mattress as far as it would go.

Now that Dorian has been walking for a couple of months, the hallucinations usually involve him being out in the living room, which doesn't frighten me as much because it is pretty well baby-proofed, but it does make me think I should get up and watch my child. I have often found myself out of bed, walking into the living room, before I again remember that the kiddo is in his crib, and I should be sleeping too.

Last night I awoke no less than 4 times to the kiddo climbing up on a chair and pulling it over onto himself, or falling down the stairs (we had them blocked for months, but have opened them up because he can handle them pretty well now), or other similar catastrophes. Each time I sat completely upright with a gasp, or even jumped out of bed. So...it doesn't seem to be going away, or getting better. And it still happens almost every night.

StoresOnline and my little acrobat

So, Russell got a new job. And when I say new, I mean one where he is an employee. As in regular paycheck and benefits. It will be an interesting experience for us! He has really enjoyed many aspects of being self-employed and doing freelance work, but is also really excited about the opportunities this will present, and the room for growth with this company. He is doing web design for StoresOnline. Dorian of course thinks Russell's company lanyard is the coolest new thing in the house.

P.S. Look who's getting hair! On an unrelated note (but the pictures tie it together, right?), I was doing handstands the other day (it's all I've got left from my days as a gymnast), and Dorian thought it was pretty funny, and then wanted to try himself. Since then, he has become quite the little acrobat, doing somersaults, back flips (off dad's chest), and even walking on his hands.