Perfect Day

As part of an exercise to really determine who I am and what I want in my life, I wrote this description of my perfect day. Some of these things I already experience on a daily basis, others are things that I can only dream of at this point. But I thought I'd go ahead and share--sometimes saying stuff out loud (or in writing) lets the universe know that you're ready for it.

• I wake up at 6:30 a.m., feeling well rested and ready to exercise.
• The floors are freshly vacuumed and mopped, kitchen is clean, dishes are done.
• I have time to exercise, shower, and get ready for the day before baby wakes up.
• I have no problem deciding what to wear because I have tons of cute clothes, and I feel beautiful and thin.
• The baby wakes up happy around 8 a.m., having slept through the night, and I can hear him talking and singing in his crib for a few minutes before I go get him.
• There is a peaceful, happy feeling in our home.
• I am a sparkling, funny, charming wife and mother, and Russell respects, admires, and appreciates me.
• I am confident, competent, and secure in my marriage and parenting skills.
• The kids respect, admire, and love me, and they talk to me about what is going on with them.
• Russell spends a lot of time at home with the family because we have plenty of money, but he is always excited about his work and gets better and better at it every day.
• Russell is happy and fulfilled, by work, family, and play; he also has time to work on his personal projects (web projects, music, etc.).
• The kids are happy, and are always learning and discovering new things, coming up with new ideas; they are not afraid to work hard, try new things, make mistakes, and try again when they fail.
• The kids know they are loved and that they can do anything they put their minds to; they feel free to be themselves; they make good choices because they want to, not because they are compelled to; they respect people and property; they are honest, and they take responsibility for their actions and their lives.
• We all laugh a lot.
• I get a lot done, but don’t feel stressed (obviously these things can’t all be done in one day, but some combination of them):
  • time to work on internet projects:
    • strawbabypie (coming soon)
    • wholesome vitality blog (coming even sooner!)
    • inspired tunes (coming sometime)
    • personal/family blog (this is it!)
  • time to work on other projects
    • scrapbooking
    • songwriting/recording
    • piano practice
    • charitable causes
    • Art City Music Academy projects
  • time to take care of the house and garden (and the family helps out, too)
  • time to relax
    • read a good book
    • spend some time outside (the weather is always beautiful in my perfect day)
    • get a backrub from Russell :)
  • time with russell
  • time to play with the kids and read to them
  • time to give service
  • time to spend with my sisters and other friends
• The baby takes a long nap and wakes up happy.
• We have healthy and delicious meals, and we don’t over-eat or have to deny sugar cravings.
• Russell leads us in family prayer/scripture study/family home evening.
• Bedtime routines for kids go smoothly and they are in bed on time.
• I am in bed with russell by 10:00 p.m.
• I am asleep by 10:30 p.m.

Tootsie Roll Pop

He got into my purse, found this tootsie pop, and had the wrapper off before I knew it. I grabbed him before he got too sticky and stuck him in his chair, where he stayed occupied with his treat for almost an hour while I got dinner ready. He finished off the whole thing! In other healthier news, I have a couple of other blogs that I am going to start contributing to--one about natural health and one about everything baby. So I'll let you know when I post an article about what I feed my baby besides candy. :)

Hiking

A couple of weeks ago we went hiking with some friends up to the cross on the mountain. Here is Dorian with his little friend (I won't use names since I didn't get permission to post this picture...) And here are my cute boys. Isn't that a nice view of the windmill farm in the background? The camera battery died before we actually got to the cross... It was a great little hike and we liked it so much that we decided to go hiking every week. Then it decided to rain for the past 2 weeks. SO we haven't gone again yet...but we're totally going to if it ever stops raining.

First steps

This was taken on Friday. These aren't his very first steps, but this was the first day he dared take more than about two at a time.

Bittersweet

I saw three of my best friends tonight. We all lived together in college, although never all four of us at once. Even after college when one went on a mission, another moved to New York, and the last two of us moved into a house with another roommate, we were still four. They were the kind of friends that you keep your whole life. They were the kind of friends that even when you don't see them for a year, you can get together and it's like you've never been apart. But I lost them. The semester I started graduate school, I also got engaged. I didn't have time for the girls anymore, and I foolishly assumed I could make up for it later. But when later came, I felt the damage was too great. I didn't know how to fix it. I knew I had made the choice to leave them behind, and I convinced myself that if they didn't care, then it didn't matter.

When I saw them tonight, we talked again like we used to. We laughed, we commiserated, we shared. I realized again how deeply I've missed them. And how deeply I regret not having been a part of their lives for the last 5 years. The three of them have managed to stay in each other's lives, despite living in three different states--one is in law school, another just finished her MBA, the third is heading into her 10th year of teaching junior high English. It's obvious they harbor no resentment toward me, but also obvious that I am no longer part of that circle. They are three now, without me.

Do I wish I hadn't gone to grad school? When I was in the middle of it, I wished I had never had the idea, but finishing grad school was absolutely one of the top 3 self-defining achievements in my life. Do I wish I hadn't gotten married? Of course not. Marriage is great. I adore my husband, and still wonder how I ended up with someone so darn cute. What I do wish is that I could have had the perspective that I have now; that I could have seen a way to go to grad school, get a husband, AND keep those girls in my life. It wouldn't have been that hard. A couple of nights a month would have been enough to let them know that I cared.

When my daughters get engaged, I hope I will be able to help them see the value in setting aside some time to hang out with the girls. It's so hard to see it when all you want to do is be with that wonderful guy that you're so in love with. And he is wonderful. But I miss those girls. A lot more than I have been letting myself realize. And I'm afraid it's really too late now to make up for lost time.

Jinx

Dear Universe,

I'm sorry I said anything. I should never have so recklessly claimed that my baby was actually sleeping through the night. I take it back.

But...come on, don't I deserve a solid night's sleep after 11 months? I fail to comprehend why you continue to deprive me of this.

Yours,
Bonnie

Sleeping Through the Night

So, a couple of months ago, a friend of mine (the lunch lady) offered to answer any questions her readers wanted to ask. Of course I asked her how to get my baby to sleep through the night. Here is her response to my question. She is one of my favorite moms in the world, and has darling children, so don't believe her when she says she's not qualified to give parenting advice.

So, first of all, no fair that she tried to refer me back to my own blog for the answer to my question! But second of all, it's okay. I know the answer now to this most-asked, most-unanswered question. Are you ready for it? The answer is that NOBODY KNOWS THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION. I hope that doesn't offend you. I think there are many partial answers to this question. I think there are many strategies that sometimes work, when a particular child is ready for them to work. I definitely believe that "sleep training," in its many forms, can be very effective. And perhaps, if you do just the right type of sleep training at just the right moment for your particular baby, you will get him sleeping through the night sooner than he otherwise might have done it. Maybe with my next baby I will have a better sense of what works and when to do it. Or maybe not. Having said all that, I am happy to report that Dorian has been sleeping very well the past couple of weeks. He is pretty consistently not waking up until 5 or 6 a.m., at which time I feed him and then he goes back to sleep until 7:30 or 8:00. While I am hesitant to proclaim final success, it really is starting to feel like this might be for real. Of course I would love it if he would just decide to sleep through that 5 a.m. feeding, but right now I am just counting my blessings that we can both still get a couple more hours of sleep afterward.